The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp
by GraceRichie
Summary: Spinoff diary entries from New Crystals, Old Dreams. Diaries, journals...whatever you wish to call them, are where you hide your innermost thoughts from the vicious world around you. Find out what Jeaule's innermost thoughts are on the changes her life.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****I don't own anything in the world of the Labyrinth, but it is true that the following thoughts are about a character that belongs to me, from a character that belongs to me, so yeah! LOL This chapter is for all of you who read chapter 16 of New Crystals, Old Dreams and wondered what it was that Jeaule wrote about in her diary that made her grow some backbone. If you don't know what I am talking about...I suggest checking out New Crystals, Old Dreams, its a good read!  
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The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp

I don't know if I want to be known as the quiet, demure sister of Erina any longer. At first it was fine, it kept people away and gave me time for my art and reading and writing my thoughts away in here. But now, I am starting to feel my isolation as a bad thing. It is wearing on me and I don't know how to break out of it.

I have asked myself what brought about this change of heart more times than I could sit here and write, more times than I would want to. Every time I come up with the same answer, though I, in my womanly modesty, try to play it off as a fancy from reading those ridiculous romance novels that Maesia seems insistent on forcing my way these days.

Why does my mind seem to persist that my attitude has changed because of a few stolen glances from Cyric of Dendum? Is it simply because my romance novel assaulted mind wants to believe that the handsome lord would fall in love with the beautiful handmaiden…if I were to call myself beautiful, I would call myself pretty at best, plain at worst.

Or is there a possibility that those few moments when our eyes met…he really did change something in me? Could those mere moments have changed me from the timid little field mouse that most think me into this budding woman that I want to become? All signs point to the fact that…oh gods…please don't tell me I am in love with him. That would be hopeless. Hopeless and foolish.

And yet, there is a part of me that would rejoice at the liberation. I would love to think myself beautiful and engaging enough to have caught the eye of someone so tempting to so many. In my mind I have already imagined what it would be like if this were so.

I have imagined things that make me blush as I write this, but they have given me a strange strength these last few days.

I would usually never even think of standing up to my sister, let alone actually doing it, but I find myself getting closer and closer to doing just that. I find my eyes rolling as she complains about Lady Sarah, find myself tuning her out. Most startlingly, I find myself WANTING to tell her off, wanting to tell her to just shut up and stop her whining.

And if I have Cyric of Dendum to thank for this change of heart, then by the gods, if I ever get a chance…I will thank him till his head spins. Oh, I can't even believe I just wrote that, now I will have to spell this diary closed as well as hide it from my sister.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**** The character's within this spinoff from my Labyrinth story are mine, but the world they are stationed in doesn't. I earn no money, but I do so enjoy the reviews!**

**This chapter in her diary is her response to meeting Cyric in chapter 17 of New Crystals, Old Dreams. If you haven't read that story, this won't make much sense to you, so I suggest reading that first…it's a great read!**

The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp

Oh dear gods, could this day have been anymore of a rollercoaster for me? I thought that it would be simple, a nice gala dinner to celebrate the pending union of King Jareth and Lady Sarah. A union that most in the Underground looked forward to.

True, some with mixed feelings about her birth, but not outright hatred like my sister…and Medb.

I can't wrap my mind around the way their's work. It seems a waste of time to me…hating someone. Though, that is also the thing that scares me to my core. Erina wasn't always like this, she wasn't always the hate filled person I know now. She loved once, laughed once. It is rare to see her smile anymore, unless it is one of those frighteningly wicked smiles…like the one she had tonight.

But I digress…

It scares me that, with my blossoming emotions…I might not be able to handle them. Will I end up like my sister one day? Torn to the soul by hatred that now seems a futile waste? I don't know the answer to that question and that almost makes me wish that I could extinguish whatever fuel has been fired inside of me. It's easier being the timid mouse in the corner.

It's safer…

But I also know that without what is happening to me…I never would have held myself together as well as I did today, however weak a statement that may be. I have never felt as stupid in my life as I felt when I finally met Cyric. "A love potion…?!" Is that really what I said…?

Even now it seems like I watched that whole thing happen from a lovely vantage point across the room where I could laugh at myself. It was pathetic how I stammered when I realized his shirt was off. Oh Gods, I am hitting myself in the head even now for that eloquent utterance.

Though, by the gods, the man is a biological work of art.

There was something there though, when he looked into my eyes. Perhaps my love for him isn't as unfounded as I originally thought it to be…? Only time will tell if that little fairytale will come true, but what better place than the Underground for a fairytale come true?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**** The character's within this spinoff from my Labyrinth story are mine, but the world they are stationed in doesn't. I earn no money, but I do so enjoy the reviews!**

**This chapter in her diary is her response to her running from the ball in chapter 19 of New Crystals, Old Dreams. If you haven't read that story, this won't make much sense to you, so I suggest reading that first…it's a great read!**

The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp

How to even write about this night…?

I suppose I can begin with the good…the magical and end with the heart shattering finale.

Today started off with me feeling like I was going to be ill if I had to wear this dress that Sarah picked out for me. I have developed a habit, by her insistence, that I should call her merely Sarah in private. I feel that this diary is private enough to continue this habit.

The dress seemed held together by magic. Honestly, that was probably a bit true, but I wore it because Sarah seemed so sure that it would be perfect for me. And I'll be damned if I didn't say that when I put it on I wanted to die…but she was right. Though I didn't realize that or come to terms with that until Cyric told me so.

Cyric.

I kissed him tonight.

Oh gods, if I had known it would feel like that, I would have stopped being so shy LONG ago, but I assume that is a part of me that he loves.

He loves me….

It seems strange to write and far stranger to hear it whispered in my ear while dancing with him. How has this happened to me? That a man like him should love me so? What have I done that warrants such a prize as him? I would have questioned that till I was blue in the face, but the reason has been ripped from me.

By my own sister.

She is Medb's spy, though I will only ever admit that here in these pages. She cornered me at the ball tonight and told me if I were to tell on her, she would tell Medb what she saw tonight. I couldn't believe it to be true. There was no way that MY sister was the spy working for Medb, but it is painfully and gut wrenchingly true.

Erina saw our kiss in the hall outside our rooms. She will tell Medb of it and so forfeit Cyric's life if I ever tell a soul that she is the spy. How can I betray the trust of the woman that I think of as a friend now? But how can I not and still save Cyric's life?

My pains are too numerable to write down on these pages, I need sleep.

I need to think.

I need to plan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:**** The characters within this spin-off from my Labyrinth story are mine, but the world they are stationed in doesn't. I earn no money, but I do so enjoy the reviews!**

**This chapter in her diary is her response to her collective thoughts before talking to Sarah and Jareth in chapter 20 of New Crystals, Old Dreams. If you haven't read that story, this won't make much sense to you, so I suggest checking that out first…it's a great read!**

The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp

I know that I have will miss the gathering called for by Jareth this morning because of my inability to work things out anywhere else but the pages of this worn diary. Part of me sits here wondering if that will upset Sarah, she would have liked me to be there while the King yells at everyone, trying to weed out the plant…my sister.

The other part of me screams and beats on its little metaphorical cage that I placed it in, wanting very much to be there. Wanting in a very primal and vicious way to have been able to point the finger at the sister she now thinks of as the villain, to have seen the fury on the kings face, the disappointment and emerald anger in Sarah's.

To this part of me, it would have been a grand spectacle to see Erina dragged off in chains, kicking and screaming and cursing my name, but it also would have been wrong. I know that if I had gone, I would have shouted and pointed at my sister, sealing Cyric's fate without giving him a chance. It wouldn't have been fair. I couldn't have done that to him, not when he is so newly and shockingly mine. I have to find a way to help him.

And I think I have.

I still have to go to Sarah and Jareth when their gathering is over. They have to agree to this arrangement or everything I have planned will crumble. I need their support and gods help me, I need their blessing for what I have decided to do. I know that they will object to parts of what I will say, but Erina must remain out of their grasp and in a very real way, completely ignorant, until I have worked my way into Medb's good graces.

If she has any.

Since last night, I have found myself thinking things that have shocked me and empowered me in ways I could have only dreamed of before. What my sister did to me at the party has marked my very soul. I don't know if there is much of that timid little mouse left in me. I feel like a tigress anymore when I think of the cruel being my sister has transformed into. She is no longer worthy of my pity or my worry. Erina has damned herself and has tried to take my happiness with her, the only happiness I had ever found.

I am glad that I didn't go to the meeting now that I think of it in retrospect. That would have been too good, too easy of a way out for Erina. She needs to learn a lesson from her dealings with the devil. Not just a cell to rot in, no, no. Once my plan has run its course, she will regret the day she linked hands with Medb.

**(A/N: I would like to give a quick thanks to those who actually read and reviewed this chapter for me last week! **

**BattleofEvermore, notwritten and Kerichi!! **

**Thanks guys…love you lots!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:**** The characters within this spin-off from my Labyrinth story are mine, but the world they are stationed in doesn't. I earn no money, but I do so enjoy the reviews!**

**This chapter in her diary is her thoughts on all that's been going on with her sister up to chapter 25 of New Crystals, Old Dreams when she finally brings her diary back out. If you haven't read that story, this won't make much sense to you, so I suggest checking that out first…it's a great read!**

The Diary of Jeaule Olincamp

Am I wicked for what I've done to my sister? For the insanity that I am slowly, but surely guiding her into with steady hand? I like to think that I'm not, but how can one judge themselves with personal bias? Does it matter if a person THINKS themselves innocent? I'm not entirely sure it matters what a person truly believes of their actions, because, in the end, they will most likely assume that they were right for having done so.

A person will always find a way to justify what they have done, be it causing the insanity of a once beloved sister, or murdering thousands. It's all relative when it gets down to personal bias. So why do I feel gutted at times? Why do I commend myself on what I'm doing only when I don't have to see my sister lost in her insanity?

I found the answer when I found this journal today. It is quite apparent to me now that I have ignored these pages for far too long and have a conflicted mind to thank for it. It is true that I have confidants that I never could have dreamt of before, but that is no reason to have abandoned this outlet for my soul. These pages and the ink with which I lay my soul to eternity have always brought me back to rights in the past. I hope that they can do that for me again today.

She sits in my room even now, oblivious to my presence. I no longer have to fear her stealing what I have written within these pages for she has stolen within herself to a point she wouldn't care. Erina sits at my window, staring down at the gardens we spent the morning strolling through with Jareth.

How he acts besotted with her is beyond me.

He was charming, but I could see, though Erina could not, the revulsion of all he has to do just under the surface of that charm. It is commendable how he has been able to keep with this part of his and I have to admit now that this all has to be horrible for him as well, though in a much different way.

How had I not thought of that before?

Easy I assume, I was so caught up in the ME of it all. Oh woe is me, my sister is a psycho who wants to ruin what Jareth and Sarah have, oh woe is me she is going crazy now that we have done something to stop her. Is this truly hardest on me?

I can't imagine so.

What about Sarah? Oh gods, how could I not thought of how horrible this must be for her? Oh I have thought about how what Erina has done to her must be terrible, but I never took into account how she must be feeling about Jareth having to even PRETEND to be in love with Erina at times.

I know if it were Cyric having to do this I would be livid with jealousy, but Sarah holds strong. Now that I think of it, you can see it in her eyes when it's discussed, but never does she falter or tell them that it has to stop.

I wish I could be more like her. Stronger like her.

As I look over at my sister, the afternoon light confused over her tangled hair and pallid skin, I know that I am not as strong as Sarah. And yet, perhaps that is not a terrible thing. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, I believe I am learning mine.

I care for those I love, more than warranted at times, but I have a vicious loyalty to my friends and loved ones that will rip that caring in half if it is lost. I assume that could be called a very healthy motherly complex.

We shall see how I develop as more time wears on. For now…I need to tend to the insanity at my window.

**(A/N: I am glad that Jeaule is finally coming around to finding exactly who she is! Makes me as happy as a mommy watching a baby learn to walk. LOL Reviewers who made me happy as well were: BattleofEvermore, BookwormBrea and notwritten.)**


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